using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
