Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
