You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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