We're facebook friends in real life
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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