Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
I love you.
Bad choice
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
