she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
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