its not stalking. its research.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
