I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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