hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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