I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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