My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
