You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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