i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
