He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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