with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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