I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Randomize
