is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
