shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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