Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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