I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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