sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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