So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
