I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
