i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
