i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
