They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
