i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
