he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
its liver damage thursday
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
