I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
