pedialite and red bull = repair kit
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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