i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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