Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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