Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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