so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
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