So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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