I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
