I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
These tits shall not be calmed
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
