i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
