i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
