Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
i came on her dog
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
