Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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