I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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