true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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