yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
