3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
