I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Randomize
