I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Barsexuality is the new black.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
