Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
My dad is sitting where you rode me
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
