That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
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