question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
So I just went to clothing optional bar
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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